I don't think I have ever talked about my relationship with depression and how it affects me.
For me, depression is a deep ache. Consistent and everpresent.
During the highs and lows, I can always feel this ache. However, like with a physical body ache, when things are going great or you have adrenaline rushing through your system, you don't notice it as much. IT IS DEFINITELY STILL THERE AND SOMETIMES MAKES ITSELF KNOWN. Usually though, when the highs have subsided is when the ache comes back. It is when I have nothing to occupy my working thoughts. The deep ache begins to pulsate and throb, feeling more and more inescapable.
Right now, I feel that ache. I sit here writing at 2:30 a.m. on a Tuesday aching.
Will the ache ever go away?
I really don't know.