It is often that I will experience high levels of anxiety at night. I'm not sure if they spike independently or if the added pressure of not being able to fall asleep exacerbate its effects. What I do know is that midnight anxiety, for me, is much more potent than anxiety experienced at other times of the day.
Loneliness tends to be an aspect that heavily influences my anxiety. I guess the night makes being alone feel really lonely...and no they aren't the same thing. Sometimes I sit lie awake in bed just trying to imagine a better life. There are times when I just have to get up because sitting still makes the feelings worse. Times like right now, I use it as a tool. I was lying in bed wanting to disappear and decided to sit up and write about it, so here I am. Alone. Anxious. Sad. Confused. Angry. Tired.
One day it won't hurt as bad all of the time. One day I will be able to breathe a little easier.
At least that is what I tell myself to keep going.